When you have an ongoing "condition," your household develops a routine - an understanding of who helps who. The patient doesn't mean to take advantage, "she" just can't keep up.
Imagine my surprise when JP came home from work three days ago, limping and grimacing. Watching him remove his steel-toed work boots sent shivers down MY spine, and I was wearing fuzzy socks.
The next day he tries to work, but comes home early, in even worse pain. (For the record, I told him not to go... why doesn't anyone ever take my advice?)
A few phone calls later and I had him scheduled to see a podiatrist the next morning. When he woke up, he was worse, gritting his teeth just to stand.
At that moment, it dawned on me how little I am. I can't lift JP. I can't pull JP. The best I can hope for is to break his fall. He hopped to the bathroom, managed to shower, and wobbled out to the truck. Long story short -- Gout.
Now it's Freaky Friday in our house and I'm checking with him. "What can I get you? You need anything?" He's actually a good patient (perhaps better than me? -- no comment). And his sense of humor is not affected. For example, while reading online the treatments for gout, without missing a beat, he said, "And the No. 1 treatment is the love of a good woman." However, when he didn't like my shopping list for the grocery store, he texted me to find him "a good woman in the frozen food section."
Uh huh... that's when I realized...
I can say anything I want, and he can't catch me!
- I can tell him, "Wait till the doc gets a load of those Hobbit Hooves." And he can't catch me!
- I can tell him, "Get well, or I'll have to move you around on your dolly." And he can't catch me!
- I can tell him, "Bye Bye, beloved manly smoker. Hello, veggie platters." And he can't catch me!
"Thhhese Are Days....
You'll Remember." Sing it Natalie!
Back away from the smoker! He needs it for when he is better, has moved here, and makes me some tasty ribs.
(Get better soon, JP. We need you waiting on GP. :) )
Posted by: amber | 07/15/2011 at 09:44 AM
HA! Where on earth did you find that illustration!?! giggle fits.
Hope JP's gout eases soon. Remember... the Garth Brooks Juice Diet is the sure fire cure.
Posted by: eden | 07/15/2011 at 11:57 AM
AMBER -- Good thinking! Future assets are safe. BBQ at our place!
EDEN -- Isn't it hysterical? However, I just realized it says "tobacco" my eggs... I read "tobasco" cuz that's what JP likes. ha! God bless google images. Juice diet, YES!
Posted by: Girl Parker | 07/15/2011 at 12:38 PM
Too funny! Not the part about the gout but the things you can do to him when he can't chase after you.
Posted by: Kelly Hashway | 07/15/2011 at 03:22 PM
I agree with eden. The picture fits the story perfectly. Sounds like you and JP have a lot of fun, even when one of you has a "condition." Hope he is up and around and back in the steel-toed boots soon!
Posted by: Carol Apple | 07/16/2011 at 04:49 AM
eh? 'gout?!' Sounds like something out of the 19th-century...
...any better? we hope so...
Posted by: J and S | 07/17/2011 at 07:28 PM
KELLY -- It's delightful. And now if he says something too smart-alecky, I can threaten his toe. hee-hee!
CAROL -- We really do and we tease each other mercilessly. That's why I'm enjoying a little edge. He's back at work today, but still has a little limp. Thanks for your well-wishes!
J&S -- He's getting there, but according to the all wise WebMD, he's likely to have another attack in a few months and it will recur every few years. Fun stuff. Better keep his dolly is working order. Ha!
Posted by: Girl Parker | 07/18/2011 at 02:36 PM
Lori, poor JP! Hope he's better soon! Although, his gout, while it's not funny, made for a hilarious post with you saying, "And he can't catch me!" Isn't it lovely when we can get away with practically anything because our loved one is incapacitated? Yes, I'm a mean girl, I admit it. :) Hey, I like to think of it as the universe's way of letting us feel invincible...even if it's from a distance!
Posted by: Bella | 07/22/2011 at 05:29 PM