The Ole Master Plan

You Are Cordially Invited To...

... Please come visit my new blog at http://girlparker.com.

Hope to see you there!

Coming Soon, to an internet browser near you...

 

A whole new website by yours truly!

Estimated launch is November 25.

Stay tuned.

 

Choo choo, choo choo cha boogie

 

 

My Thoughts on Mondays...

Usually, I agree with Karen Carpenter on the subject of Mondays.  However, I'm considering requesting a Tuesday rewrite for "Rainy Days and Mondays," as I face my stack of patient reports tomorrow.  

BUT, that has no bearing on today.  

Today is Monday!  Mondays now equal BLISS.  And what is the equation for bliss?

• Coffee
• + Read a Good Book
• + Write a Good Book (please, let it be good!)
• + flannel pajamas with cowgirls on them
• + more coffee
• + possible wee nap
• + pet the kitties
• - working for the man
• - staring at the clock
• + energy to make a nice dinner

= B L I S S

BLISS Looks Like This.

 

What is your reason for that floaty, skaty feeling of bliss?

 

Character Development... or Storytelling Pajamas!

Do you cast your characters?  

Some picture a specific actor, relating their personality traits to a person in their novel.  I only do this to a limited extent.  I couldn't tell you who "plays" in my book, but a few people have a look and voice inspired by Hollywood.  My best example is a background character, a coworker, who is a direct riff off of Clairee (Olympia Dukakis) in Steel Magnolias.  That's the voice I hear anytime she walks into the scene.

Or, do you go for character traits?  Like a sort of mix-and-match to find Mr. Right Character?  "He's shy, but formidable, and won't touch a drink because his father was a violent alcoholic."  No, no, no...  "He's Hispanic and the loudest laugh in the family..."  

My favorite method is to examine a picture and create a life for that person.  That's exactly what Tracy Chevalier did in "Girl with a Pearl Earring," bringing Vermeer's famous painting to life.

Alas, I'm not that lofty.  But I did find myself wondering about a set of girls... Cowgirls on my new flannel pajamas.  (see, not so lofty)  But each girl has obvious personality!  See if you don't agree...

She's the performer, but not too flashy.  She practices for hours each day.  She's a perfectionist, but is only hard on herself.  What happens when her rodeo is cancelled?

She's the keeper of the fire, the one who feels great when caring for others.  What happens when a loved one runs away and steals her only prized locket for money?

She's not a tomboy.  She's a worker, but is always aware of the affect she has on men.  She is less sure how to use this attraction.  What happens when her Cowboy Right is misled over to Daisy Duke's territory?

Hello, Daisy Duke.  She makes sure to be seen, and she knows her stuff both on the range and at the honky tonk on Friday night.  What happens when her daddy dies and the ranch is bank owned?

She's not afraid of anyone and sees no point is dolling up for a hard, busy day.  So what happens when she's asked to substitute at the local school?  And why is Cowboy Wrong trying to steal her cattle?

 

 

Everytime I wear these pajamas, I find myself wondering which cowgirl I want to be and why.  Where do you get your inspiration??

What's a Novel Compared to Thine Love?

                                                                                                                                           By Anne Taintor

Hilarious!!!

JP is sick and I've been trying to take care of him.  Last night was a super success.  For the first time in our 3.5-year-old marriage, he did not add hot sauce to his dinner.  I made him chicken tortilla soup that included a can of fire-roasted tomatoes, a jalapeno, and a few chipotles with adobo sauce. 

He almost married me again on the spot.

And no, I did not get any writing or blogging done.

At this juncture, I should list several ways we writers can carve time out of our day to write.  Time we hope will equal:

• Landing an agent, receiving an offer from a publishing house, and booking an author photo session.  
• Vindication of our tendencies to daydream and stare vacantly into the void.
• Quitting the day job.
• Browsing Barnes & Noble, posing and sipping lattes next to our bestseller display.  
• Permission to mail our bestseller to that mean girl who made our freshman year in high school a living terror.

But I haven't got any advice.  Sometimes, we just gotta take care of those we love, make a chicken soup, load the dishwasher, and try again the next day.

Except, I think I caught his cold.

Maybe it's just time to read a good book.

It's Raining Men... Austen Style

ODE TO JANE AUSTEN'S HEROS

Your eyes pierce my soul
But your words bespeak judgement.
Wounded, I take leave.

We glimpse each other.
But you smile for other girls.
I watch and resent.

I remember all.
Months pass.  Small kindnesses build.
Conflicting feelings.

I said, "Never you."
Yet you rise over all men,
proving rumors false.

Finally, you speak,
although your family hates me.
In you, I am home.

*****

Here they are, ladies - Every brooding hero you ever loved!  

This Friday, we tip our bonnets to Jane Austen, who penned the most complex and worthy men in the English language.  I feel the need for a BBC marathon this weekend.  How about you?

 

 

A Stitch in Time

Aren't I adorable?  I love my shoes!

Last week, I encouraged those suffering from writer's block to look through family albums for ideas.  I did this a few months ago and made a discovery.  

I've seen the above photo all my life.  There I am, not quite age two, waiting for my mommy and new baby sister to come home.  Grandma got me all dolled up. But I'd never taken the photo out of the album.  As I did to scan it, I discovered a note on the back.  

"Lori, in the dress mommy made."

I never knew that!  

Which reminded me:  Mom was fired from her job when her boss learned she was pregnant.  They could do that in 1969...  and she worked in store that sold Singer sewing machines. 

So she lost her job and no doubt my parents had to scrape and save like crazy after that. Naturally, she chose to sew baby clothes, on her Singer, rather than buy.  Back then, fabric and patterns were the economical choice, unlike today.  I wonder if she resented using her machine, silently fuming at her boss as she worked on the dress collar.  Or maybe she was glad she saved and bought it at a discount while she could.

As I grew up, her sewing machine was always out.  I tattooed one corner of its cabinet with a childhood drawing, pushing too hard on the paper and carving into the wood.  Boy, was I in trouble!  

On Saturday mornings, my sister and I would sneak into her closet and pull out her cutting board, a 5 x  7 piece of cardboard, perfect for sock skating while watching cartoons.

Mom also gave me lessons on her machine.  I learned to make vests, very popular in the 80s, and a passable skirt or two.  But she was much better and could whip up any pattern I chose. 

So you see, this photo serves for several plot ideas:  

• Discrimination in the workplace
• 1960-1970s employment
• Fear that income loss brings
• Sewing analogies
• Scenes of shopping, fitting, designing
• Scenes of ruined attempts
• Scenes of little girl fashion shows

See what I mean?  Has an unexpected discovery triggered your creative juices lately?

Getting over, and around, writer's block

The first time I drove past this giant rock mountain, I hit the brakes.  Thank goodness I was on a very quiet residential street!  All the thesaurus words for BIG apply, but I like "mammoth."  And it's someone's view from the front yard!  I'm guessing, but I'd say it's about 20' high and 30' wide...  I stood against it and didn't get to where the green moss comes down.  I'm 5'1".

This is my literal interpretation of One Big Enchilada of a writer's block.

Every writer knows about it, when the words are Bad, Wrong, or Silent.  It's a very bad day at work for a writer, like an OSHA warning to a contractor.  "That plot roof is about to cave.  Why aren't your main characters harnessed to the scaffolding?"  

I personally believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, that a full-time writer understands it's just a bad day, not a wrong life decision.  Also, they can look at the bookshelf, see their prior success, and feel better.  So they push.  The plot roof get decorative shingles and the characters buckle up and then fall accidentally for suspense.

But how about for the part-time writers?  The ones who can fall back on a day-job paycheck?  Or, even more terrifying, how about us newbies?  Us poor saps who still work full-time for the man and sneak in writing time like we sneak in bite-size treats on coffee-break?  

When we see a problem or our storyline peters out, we will give up?

I heard somewhere that Charles Dickens wrote his first books while working full-time in a bank.  This has encouraged me for literally a decade -- until I watched a Biography episode on him.  

Baloney.  Wrong.  Answer over.  

He had a hard childhood, yes, and he had issues with his mother.  Sounds like 99% of humans to me.   But his day job as an adult was writing, whether journalism or stories.  And, while I'm glad my grade school days were spent on a pair of roller skates and not working in a rat-infested blacking warehouse, I'm still jealous.  Plus, that experience plotted up some of his best works.

So, what's a non-child laborer to do when her story run dry?

"Climb every mountain?  Ford every stream?"  (insert singing nun from The Sound of Music)

Essentially, yes.  Unless you want to be a quitter.  Here are a few Girl Parker Approved methods of scaling that rock.

• Walk away.  Many folks say you absolutely must write every day.  I believe they worked that rat-infested warehouse and it has tetched their thinking.  Take a day off.

• Do laundry and fold clothes for an hour.  And don't watch TV while doing it.  Let your mind wander.  Repeat if needed.  If you run out of laundry, I can supply more.

• Go for a long walk.  It will clear your head.

• Go to the gym and cue up some rockin tunes.  Believe it or not, Adele just helped me fill in a much stronger backstory for a character.  Thanks, Adele!

• Run through the NPR headlines.  Guaranteed to get your creative juices flowing.

• Read the daily front page of Wikipedia.  Ditto to above.

• Flip through old family pictures.  Something may trigger a long ago heard tidbit.
  

• Bake something high in calorie, put your feet up, and read a good book.  You can't know your craft if you ignore it.

Do you have any good tips for getting over a stopped-up story, minus Roto Rooter?  Please share!

Writing the Hot Stuff

Hate to disappoint, but no Fabio cover art here.  

I'm talking about other writing jobs, whether freelance or as part of a corporation.  Consider that a writer keyed in every word that fills your mailbox with credit card offers, the gimmicks that cover the Captain Crunch box, the flower-and-fruit description of that Pinot Noir, and the script of the video for your next winter boots on Zappos.

Not only are these writers convincing, they are creative and succinct.

To illustrate:  Welcome to JP's Hot Sauce Collection.  The following labels represent only one-fourth of his stash, but the writing and artwork are top notch.  

Hey, writing is writing, even if it's not found on a bookshelf.

"This sauce will clean you out, guaranteed."  

It will also swell your eye shut if even a microdrop lands on your eyelid
as JP is shaking the bottle while standing next to you.  Film at 11:00....

Lil Johnny's artwork landed him with a counselor.

 

Because of my job as a med transcriptionist, I LOVE THIS.

 

I guess if your head is on fire, a comedy show would be just the thing.

 

I'm certain there was manic giggling coming from this writer's cubicle.

 

Do I have any wealthy relatives?

 

"Unspeakable."  Ha!  

 

Straight to the point.  JP also had Pain 95%, which is now empty.  
He met his match with this one.

Got any good examples of fabulous, non-book writing?  I bet you do!

Awww shucks, and other blushings and such...

 

Wendy Jane Smith has awarded me the Liebster award, which is just the nicest thing this side of calorie free movie popcorn.  Thank you, Wendy!  By the way, Wendy just the took the HUGEST of leaps and self-published her first novel, Where to Belong.   *** Cartwheels and Splits, with pompoms in a Victory V. ***  

The following guidelines appy to the Great Liebster - which, in German, means “friend,” “beloved,” “favorite,” or “dearest”.

The Rules: 

• Show your appreciation to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them. 
• Reveal your top five picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog. 
• Post the award on your blog. 
• Bask in the camaraderie of the most supportive people on the internet - other writers. 
• And best of all - have bloggity fun and spread the love. 

 

So, my five picks come from my Row#80 companions and those lovies at #wipmadness.  Both are online writing communities.  These winners set a MUCH better example at communicating their goals and progress.  (If I haven't got something to cartwheel about, I clam up and pretend my main characters are at a day spa.  It's been a two-week mud bath.  Wonder how much that runs...)

1.  LS Taylor, who is ultra generous with sparkles and applause for others' accomplishments. 

2.  Jaye Robin Brown, who graciously took over hosting the #wipmadness check in and cheerleading.  Thanks Jaye!!

3.  Angelina Hanson, who reignited my love of writing.  She just received this award from someone else, but I can't help myself.

4.  Amanda Bozeman, a romantic/suspense writer and blogger I recently found who makes me giggle or hollar "Amen, Sista."

5.  Amber West, without whom The Ole Master Plan would not exist.  Literally.  She's received this before too.  Somehow, I don't believe the award police will be tracking me down.

Thanks, Ladies!!  

Writing is done inspite of knowing we should be elsewhere, doing other things.  But we can't. We write.  These ladies understand.